Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pregnancy weirdisms

  • why is it that on TLC "Taking The Baby Home...the first 36 hours" does the man/husband say how tired he is and how it's been such a long couple of days and he just needs sleep? Umm, what exactly have you done, sir, that has made you so sleepy?

Is it giving birth? no

Is it feeding an infant with your body as the nourishment? no

Is it from bleeding like a stuffed pig? no

So let's see...you counted 1-8 several times, you held your wife's hand and sometimes a leg in the serious moments, told all the relatives the size/sex/name, held your new baby. Hmmm, anything else?? I can see why you are so exhausted....

Seriously! Get over yourself as you did NOTHING in the whole process. If you weren't there, your baby would still be born and fed and taken care of. You are NOT an essential part of the equation except in the conception. Give your wife some frickin love for ALL that she did, you selfish pig! Ugh. Can you tell I'm not watching that show again!

  • $185 maternity jeans.... seriously?? They are very cool looking but really?? That much?! Now I'm a semi-high maintenance girl so I'm fine with spending money (especially my hubbys!! NO comments Lee!!) but to spend that much on maternity jeans? I couldn't even get myself to try them on.
  • The wonderful "try to sneak a peek at the belly while the maybe pregnant or maybe put on some weight girl is not looking" move. Seriously...we see you...
  • I always have to pee when I'm running errands. I normally (non-preggo) have a bladder of steel. As soon as I'm pregnant, that goes out the window so it's me and all the old women in the bathroom. They are the worst at the staring. Why is that?

OK...I'm done with what turned into a complaining post.

On a better note, Teddy now smells like a sugar cookie! You've gotta love that...thank you Petco! He's so clean and fluffy and not stinky! It's great.

Uggs is getting better. He's starting to walk more and go up and down the stairs.

So, I'm off to watch Ug.ly Be.tty and Greys. Have a great night:)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

OOOh boy, where does one start with a post like this?......Okey dokey I'm going to give it a go.

First i would like to say that I forgive you for this obviously unstable-hormonally driven-wildly irrational tirade that you have gone off on. No hard feelings there.

That said, why would a man be tired after your pregnancy...Hmm, lets take a look. After the initial "fun" time, he had to spend ten months as a...whats a nicer way to say indentured servant/man bitch/or just all out slave for the wife? Not sure...i digress.

During the pregnancy act itself the man has essentially been reduced to a wife/baby equipment caddie or you may say hospital sherpa. The amount of pain and emotional abuse he's been subjected to by this point has OBVIOUSLY broken his spirit.

Hence the wife is now free to call him every name in the book or maybe for kicks just a little physical abuse (see def for squirrel punch/rabbit punch).

I do concede that the act of preggers is one I personally would like to A: Not think about EVER EVER EVER and B: NOT THINK ABOUT EVER EVER EVER!!! C: Not ever have to do.

That said with the due respect being given to the fairer sex in this case I say give the man respect, he's been there for almost a year putting up with:
1. a five minute turnaround time on peeing, thank God you don't drink coffee
2. HUGE, HUGE, Emotional HUGE swings HUGE, and that was before you were preggers..now, ooooh, wow did it just get reeaaally cold in here?.....
3. 9 months of hypersensitive smell, nobody wants to be sniffed upon arrival at home(after putting food on the table and money in the bank)
4. Its just plain old degrading to make a man's dog smell like a sugar cookie, the other dogs laugh at him....they do i promise you that
5. Hormones, mood swings, weird eating habits, etc.

In conclusion, yes woman have the hard part but the man has to deal with the woman whos dealing with the hard part...you ask me.....that in itself makes me want to practice abstinence....wait, what the hell am i talking about, forget that last part.


Ah...PS I just saw this blog and don't know you.

Anonymous said...

OOOh boy, where does one start with a post like this?......Okey dokey I'm going to give it a go.

First i would like to say that I forgive you for this obviously unstable-hormonally driven-wildly irrational tirade that you have gone off on. No hard feelings there.

That said, why would a man be tired after your pregnancy...Hmm, lets take a look. After the initial "fun" time, he had to spend ten months as a...whats a nicer way to say indentured servant/man bitch/or just all out slave for the wife? Not sure...i digress.

During the pregnancy act itself the man has essentially been reduced to a wife/baby equipment caddie or you may say hospital sherpa. The amount of pain and emotional abuse he's been subjected to by this point has OBVIOUSLY broken his spirit.

Hence the wife is now free to call him every name in the book or maybe for kicks just a little physical abuse (see def for squirrel punch/rabbit punch).

I do concede that the act of preggers is one I personally would like to A: Not think about EVER EVER EVER and B: NOT THINK ABOUT EVER EVER EVER!!! C: Not ever have to do.

That said with the due respect being given to the fairer sex in this case I say give the man respect, he's been there for almost a year putting up with:
1. a five minute turnaround time on peeing, thank God you don't drink coffee
2. HUGE, HUGE, Emotional HUGE swings HUGE, and that was before you were preggers..now, ooooh, wow did it just get reeaaally cold in here?.....
3. 9 months of hypersensitive smell, nobody wants to be sniffed upon arrival at home(after putting food on the table and money in the bank)
4. Its just plain old degrading to make a man's dog smell like a sugar cookie, the other dogs laugh at him....they do i promise you that
5. Hormones, mood swings, weird eating habits, etc.

In conclusion, yes woman have the hard part but the man has to deal with the woman whos dealing with the hard part...you ask me.....that in itself makes me want to practice abstinence....wait, what the hell am i talking about, forget that last part.


Ah...PS I just saw this blog and don't know you.

Anonymous said...

OOOh boy, where does one start with a post like this?......Okey dokey I'm going to give it a go.

First i would like to say that I forgive you for this obviously unstable-hormonally driven-wildly irrational tirade that you have gone off on. No hard feelings there.

That said, why would a man be tired after your pregnancy...Hmm, lets take a look. After the initial "fun" time, he had to spend ten months as a...whats a nicer way to say indentured servant/man bitch/or just all out slave for the wife? Not sure...i digress.

During the pregnancy act itself the man has essentially been reduced to a wife/baby equipment caddie or you may say hospital sherpa. The amount of pain and emotional abuse he's been subjected to by this point has OBVIOUSLY broken his spirit.

Hence the wife is now free to call him every name in the book or maybe for kicks just a little physical abuse (see def for squirrel punch/rabbit punch).

I do concede that the act of preggers is one I personally would like to A: Not think about EVER EVER EVER and B: NOT THINK ABOUT EVER EVER EVER!!! C: Not ever have to do.

That said with the due respect being given to the fairer sex in this case I say give the man respect, he's been there for almost a year putting up with:
1. a five minute turnaround time on peeing, thank God you don't drink coffee
2. HUGE, HUGE, Emotional HUGE swings HUGE, and that was before you were preggers..now, ooooh, wow did it just get reeaaally cold in here?.....
3. 9 months of hypersensitive smell, nobody wants to be sniffed upon arrival at home(after putting food on the table and money in the bank)
4. Its just plain old degrading to make a man's dog smell like a sugar cookie, the other dogs laugh at him....they do i promise you that
5. Hormones, mood swings, weird eating habits, etc.

In conclusion, yes woman have the hard part but the man has to deal with the woman whos dealing with the hard part...you ask me.....that in itself makes me want to practice abstinence....wait, what the hell am i talking about, forget that last part.


Ah...PS I just saw this blog and don't know you.

Kelly said...

Shut up Lee!! Just you wait!!!

Jewels said...

Hilarious! I can’t wait!!